I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
