your parents love me but you hate me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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