he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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