How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
