Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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