Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
