it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
