No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
