after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My balls are so social today.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
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If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
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well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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