I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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