Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
