Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
