he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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