Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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