butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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