I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
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Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
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nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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