Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
