my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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