I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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