Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
