I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I want a musical about memes.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
