He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize