Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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