I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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