As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
