You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
