Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Pooping to opera.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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