we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
