Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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