i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
