i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
