Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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