Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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