Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
