Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
only if we run a train.
done.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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