she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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