just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
