Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
