Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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