If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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