ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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