Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
