I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize