I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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