tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize