Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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