I want to walk on stilts...naked
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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