I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
