it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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