Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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