You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
