I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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