I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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