Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
