Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
