I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
