Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
