I feel great
I just peed on a car
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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