You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
