So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize