y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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