It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
