For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
