i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
vagina is talking i cant
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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