Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
