just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
