He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
